The next month or so will be challenging; I will be asked to work through a lot of different scenarios and emotions. I know this is the right thing to do and the healthy thing to do…but I’m also aware that I’ll need some distraction and perspective. I’ll need a way back home to service.
Enter The Medevac Challenge list.
As if walking around looking reverse culture shocked won’t make me stand out enough…I’ll look disoriented wearing my po’ot.
There are a lot of weird new ways to use cell phones now, guys. We’re not ready for it.
I’ll update this page as we go along, so check back soon for photo and video evidence.
1. Buy booty shorts for Rachel.
They’re pj pants. Super soft. I think you’ll like them.
2. Get a picture of a velociraptor for Daniel.
I went to the Natural History museum, where one would assume a velociraptor would reside. I would like it noted that I would appreciate some type of congressional medal for standing in full sun, in an hour long line in prime tourist season. Dedication.
See picture above for photographic evidence that apparently we didn’t have that kind of dinosaur in America pre-asteroid.
I took some pictures of some other dinosaurs, but I was on a mission. Honestly? It felt like cheating on the main challenge.
I mean, T-Rex. Such a show off.
The gift shop yielded the results I sought. Unfortunately, it also yielded some unpleasant attention from a clerk who asked that I please not photograph children’s books I did not intend to buy.
Nailed it. There’s even a helpful description. It was “like a bird.”
3. Set watch by atomic clock by the Air and Space museum for Jason.
So. I got to the museum, and my phone croaked. After waiting in line for close to 30 minutes with Swedish tourists, I decided I wasn’t willing to wait with the hoards of sunburned tourists from the upper Midwest to charge it in the one outlet at the McDonald’s onsite, so you’ll just have to trust me when I say that my cheapy flip phone is on point and on time!
Jason, I’m pretty sure there’s an easier way for you to figure out what time it is.
4. Take a picture in front of the White House, cut and paste BH2 and the Obama family into photo for Emily.
That time we all hung out at the White House and some of us didn’t have legs… I wish it could be as good as the annual report but I’m still learning.
5. Take picture of holding the National Monument in hand for Jess.
Challenging to do from a kayak.
6. Eat the best vegan lunch in Union Station for Emily.
Chopt salad for the win. Also ate at the Shake Shack with a friend while waiting for his bus…well, drank iced tea. I would say it was a very good iced tea.
(This is just a picture of Union Station. I’m trying to do it covertly since I’m pretending not to be a tourist…)
7. Achieve some version of stealing the Declaration of Independence ala Nicholas Cage for Ana.
I went to the National Archives with the express mission to reenact some version of grant larceny. Apparently people besides Nicholas Cage have done this before! A google search called, “what are you charged with if you steal the Declaration of Independence,” yielded this gem. I went through a very thorough security check point (along with half the state of Kentucky) to the upper level rotunda where the document resides. There was another very long line into the actual room with the declaration, so I meditated for a moment in the presence of great, very old stuff, then wandered through an exhibit about America’s drinking past.
Where do we complete challenges? In the gift shop!
I went to the gift shop, where I learned the prices of pretend declarations of independence. My original idea was to pay for one and then put it in my pocket. (Sneaky, huh!?) But after contemplating how much I appreciated $10 ($20 in BZ!) I decided that the real fake heist could be committed by taking a photo of the multiple declarations.
Photography being forbidden, I’ll hope you’ll all appreciate how daring and worthy this was.
No?
I tried.
8.Try a new nationality food combination for Jess.
The pinto bean pita is a killer.
No, actually, be wary…
9. Do a yoga pose by the reflection pool/volunteer to help assist clean the reflecting pool for Jess and Jason.
10. Make a Medevac buddy for Lauren and Grant (extra points if I locate specific buddies they heard were in the area…)
Medical information is confidential, so no pictures, (sorry guys…) but rest assured that make a Medevac Buddy has been checked off the list. Extra points for pulling it off without being classically awkward.
11. Wear a po’ot on the metro for Jason.
12. Create a recreation of the lock bridge for Pat.
13. Make a Peace Corps collage; leave at Everlasting Flame for Pat.
Here’s the collage: 
I didn’t want to take pictures at Arlington, it seemed nicer not to…
14. Take a final Everlasting Love photo with Kyle at the Supreme Court (extra points for wedding dress and flowers) for Kyle, and honestly, for everyone.
I’d fake marry you any day.
15. Buy vegetables at the farmer’s market for Jess.
Purchased some really expensive basil.
16. Get a selfie in front of Bernie Sander’s office for Jacob.
They wouldn’t let us into the Capital Building with grapes and sunflowers. We tried. Instead, see below for selfie with Bernie on the metro…
17. Fly a kite on the mall for Pat (must make kite out of free newspaper I find in recycling bin).
Gum, straws, and a band-aid I found on the sidewalk. Golden.
18. Create a “life cabinet” or a list of people I’d choose for my cabinet…actual relationship to ‘regular’ cabinet jobs not required for Pat.
Kyle and I made a list together when he was here. Let me know if you’d like to know which cabinet member you are 😉
19. Hike Georgetown for Pat.
Look how scenic! And wilderness-y! The woman behind me taking pictures was wearing hiking boots, which I thought was overkill, but no judgement…
20. Read MLK’s “I have a dream speech” by his monument for Emily.
From the speech:
“We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.
We cannot turn back.”
21. Go to Jazz in the Garden for Sameera.
22. Take pictures of quotes on government buildings for Brae.
More to come, but I think I still get to cross it off.
23. Go on a date for Brae. (A date with my Medevac buddy or a friend date would count, she said grudgingly, though a congressional staffer is preferable, apparently.)
Not a congressional staffer, but don’t worry, I’ll tell you about it. 😉
24. Buy some American “beverages” for Grant.
THE WORST USE OF SUITCASE SPACE EVER.
25. Mission at the Spy Museum for Greg.
Searched high and low for a mustache…drew one on the bag instead. I think I get extra points for not being arrested while doing this…
26. Exorcism selfie for Karina.
We had quite the journey trying to identify these steps. As my adventure companion and I had never seen the Exorcist, we had no idea what they looked like. Instead of doing some research, googling, ect, in order to identify them pre-excursion, I just decided that we could drive to Georgetown, and take pictures of all steps I saw along the way. (Imagine, if you will, what a pleasure I was to be with…)
Not it.
Not it, either.
Creepy enough, but in someone’s backyard… 
Too small…
ANNNNDDDDDDD…DRUMROLL…
Exorcist Steps Selfie! Look at the creepy shadow in the background!
Less creepy fact, directly to the left of this ivy covered wall is a gas station.
You’re welcome, sister wife 😉
27. Take pictures of GWU for Grant.
I think you’re going to like it there.
28. Tour NPR for Kate.
Met Scott Simon, swoon. Leon Bridges, tiny desk concert, swoon. Chilled with Nipper, the RCA dog. Swoon. Swoon. Swoon.
29. Fall asleep on 10 strangers on public transit for DH.
I’d rather fall asleep on you, DH.
Or Dumbledore. Or Bernie. Or Barack. Or Kyle.
Sorry your face looks weird in this one. 
I do actually sleep with my eyes like that. I’ve been told…
This picture is actually my idea of heaven: 
Suggestions? Email me 🙂
I miss you guys.
Our First Year Out 